I read this quote earlier and it just clicked: “the reason that distress in a relationship so often plunges us into inner chaos is because our hearts and brains are set up to use our partners to help us find our balance in the midst of distress and fear. If they instead become a source […]

That space where we blame others … it is a space we may grow beyond if we work at it. Of course convincing people who have a strong need to blame that there might a better way is another matter. Plenty have tried it and failed. In truth we can’t convince anyone of what they […]

The message – indeed the law in the UK – is stay at home. For those of us who aren’t key workers this is clear and simple. It means we can’t take a holiday, go on a shopping spree or take a hike in the mountains. And that is sad and stifling and depressing, and […]

Yup it is indeed out of date! Sometimes it’s better to start something afresh, and this site is probably no exception, but for now here it sits, neglected, certainly, abandoned, not quite. The title “Vexentricity” or vexed + eccentric is possibly less apt than it was when the site was started so long ago. I […]

I am noticing so much “subtle violence of self-improvement” pervading social media at the moment. It’s really ok NOT to set ourselves goals, resolutions or plans for new year. Especially THIS new year when we have been through so much and so much uncertainty surrounds us. It’s really healthy to be self-compassionate and understanding. It’s […]

This gap between Christmas and new year can be a tricky time in the best of times. For me it can often feel like the doldrums. At times like this I switch up my practice and bring out the big guns: the ancient zen butter meditation. Here’s how it works: I sit preferably cross legged […]

Mindfulness teaching and university courses all done for the year now. So now I am moving into a bit of a home retreat space. Time to practice more and time to rest. And most importantly, time to bring a bit of ritual into life. I am realising how much ritual has been lost in 2020. […]

It’s a funny old time right now. So much is becoming more familiar in this new way of living. But I notice a lot of people have an undercurrent of fear all the time. Fear is a natural reaction to the situation that we are seeing in the world. I wanted to add something to […]

Yup once again married life went tits awry. A lot of taking stock has been happening here. And a lot of plunging forward into this next part of my life, embracing the great unknown, and generally discovering who the hell I am now that I am neither wife nor mother. So many people told me […]