Feeling Safe and the Experience of Trust



February 13th, 2021 by Kat Kingsley-Hughes

I’m thinking about trust at the moment and what informs that feeling of being safe with an individual or in a group or situation.

How do I know when I am experiencing trust? What is my mind like when I feel safe? What does my body feel like? What am I noticing in the other person or the group or the space?

How do I know when I am not feeling safe? What is that really like? What is happening inside, outside and around me?

What do I notice when I look back at those times where I felt trusting but that feeling of safety was misplaced? What can I learn from this so I can be more discerning and take better care of myself?

As ever it’s about slowing it right down. And it’s listening to myself deeply and really checking it out.

A strong felt sense is developing around trust and the experience of safety. My body relaxes. I feel more open. I feel warm and soft in my belly. My shoulders drop. My eyes soften. My mind slows down. It’s easy to relax further still. I am gentle with myself. My younger parts feel safe and connected. I breathe deeper and easier.

And lack of trust? My younger parts will be jumpy. My shoulders will be more tense. I feel pain or tension in my chest and my throat. My eyes are more jumpy. My thoughts are faster. I have less feelings of well-being in the moment, and settling myself is more of a doing than a being. My thoughts are more of judgement and non-judgement. There’s a whole lot more shoulds showing up in my thinking!!

So that’s a little of what I have learned about my felt experience so far of trust and non-trust.

And then there are the thoughts around trust. What do I need to see and hear and experience from others in order to trust?

Brené Brown has some great research on this with her B-R-A-V-I-N-G seven elements of trust:
Boundaries
Reliability
Accountability
Vault – keeping confidence
Integrity
Non-judgement
Generosity

I’d love to hear your of trust and safety experiences too. 😊 🙏

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 13th, 2021 at 11:21 am and is filed under Flotsam. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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